The idea:
In this project I am exploring the idea of national identity and how tracing back one’s family history of migration, or in many cases, lack of migration, could impact one's sense of belonging or displacement. In this two- component piece I intertwine a personal narrative with academic research to understand how the 3-way dynamic relationship between geography, culture, and history informs one’s both individual and national identity. I question the idea that borders can create a community and hence a national consciousness, as, contradictory, borders often cut across communities and 'clan' identities and so have long-term, historical effects and consequences. This I will be exploring further by using the Macedonian Question as a case study to further question the impact this has on communities’ identities and sense of belonging.
Furthermore, with the recent social, political, and interpersonal impact of Brexit and the Covid-19 pandemic these issues have globally resurfaced and highlighted the underlying, deeper issues that have always been there. Brexit is, in part, a statement of alienation of those that have created a home away from where they were born. The Covid-19 pandemic massively reinforces these borders mentioned, making many unable to go back to their home countries, to see their families, to be with their own culture. These events reveal a tension between old and new, personal and other. Where do people belong? Why must there be such a strict distinction of where you identify yourself? Why cannot you simply identify yourself with all the places you have put your roots down?
The process:
The process of creating this work started by speaking to my immediate family members and having them tell me our history as far back as they know it. This included my mother, father, grandmother on my father’s side, and my sister. As I was learning more about my heritage, I realised that there is a lot of evidence of migration in my family history. This made me wonder whether there is a subconscious correlation between a past memory of displacement that is continued down the generations.
To explore this idea further I spoke to my close friends to hear their family stories as far back as they have been told. (Photograph above) What I found fascinating is that, indeed, those that grew up with families that have a strong bond to the countries they are from and have not moved away for multiple generations, seem to bring up children that identify with the culture of their place of birth. However, those that have a rich history of migration or belong to multiple cultures, seem to struggle to pin-point where or what culture they belong to “most”. That is one issue that has come up during my research, the idea that one must feel “the most” connected to only one country and one must pick, make a choice, otherwise they feel like an outsider to the multiple cultures they belong to.
Visualisation:
The first element is an abstract interpretation of a map of the countries that are part of my family’s journey, embroidered with coloured thread on four pieces of white sheets, hung from the ceiling. As Bulgaria is the centre part of the narrative, it is the only one that has a full continued outline of the whole country, while others are only represented by a partial outline. Alongside, each country is embroidered in different colours, with Bulgaria being in the traditional red colour. The threads criss-cross the space between the white sheets, connecting the countries to each other and showing the journey of where family members have travelled to before going back to Bulgaria or settling down abroad.
A thread from each embroidered country connects to its geographical placement on an atlas, positioned in the middle of the sheets. This way the two maps can echo and reflect each other, and the journey can be portrayed more clearly.
There is a table in front of the installation where visitors can find a pile of brown papers with a white string attached to them, with a question asking ‘Where do you trace back your roots?’. They are encouraged to write down their answer and then attach the piece of paper to the white strings made specifically for the visitors’ narratives. Parts of my research and scholarship writing, such as the process of creating this piece and the conflicting definitions of ‘national identity’ are placed on the table for visitors to read.
The final element is an audio track of my immediate family telling me parts of our family history. On the right sheets I have written a few sentences from the audio in the original language that it was said in, while on the left sheets I wrote the translation. (As seen on the pictures of the embroidery above) This explores the paradoxes of language in families, as my sister and I are the only ones that speak English to each other, unless there are relatives involved in the conversation. This shows that national identity cannot be defined by the county that one is from, but it is more where one feels more comfortable. My sister and I prefer to speak in English to each other and find it hard interacting with our family members, as our lives do not involve speaking Bulgarian on a daily basis and a lot of words or phrases we struggle to translate.
Full audio track:
Original text of my grandmother speaking:
Раждам се 35-та година в Румънско. Живеехме в една къща, така бяха стаите от една-друга се влизаше, баба ми, дядо ми… Нямахме ток, ползваха газени лампи.
Раждам се 35-та година в Румънско. Живеехме в една къща, така бяха стаите от една-друга се влизаше, баба ми, дядо ми… Нямахме ток, ползваха газени лампи.
Translation into English:
I was born in 1935 in Romania. We lived in a house, the rooms would lead into one another, with my grandma and grandpa. We didn’t have any electricity, we used gas lamps.
I was born in 1935 in Romania. We lived in a house, the rooms would lead into one another, with my grandma and grandpa. We didn’t have any electricity, we used gas lamps.
Original text of my father speaking:
Роден е 1926-та година, а пък неговия баща, Александър, се е оженил на 40 години. Значи, смятай, 26-та година се е родил дядо ти Кольо, 25-та година моя чичо Павел, значи тогава е бил на 42 моя дядо, значи е роден някъде 1880-та, някъде там се падаше.
Translation into English:
He was born in 1926, while his dad, Aleksander, got married when he was 40-years-old. Which means, if your grandpa Kolio was born in 1926, 1925 was my uncle Pavel, then that means my grandpa was around 42-years-old, then he must have been born some time in the 1880s.
He was born in 1926, while his dad, Aleksander, got married when he was 40-years-old. Which means, if your grandpa Kolio was born in 1926, 1925 was my uncle Pavel, then that means my grandpa was around 42-years-old, then he must have been born some time in the 1880s.
Original text of my mother speaking:
Тя е пък за Македония е Северозападна Гърция, там е Македония, района, а другото си е в самата Македония. Да, те са македонци, обаче те са живяли в Солун, те нямат отношение към Република Северна Македония.
Translation into English:
For Macedonia it is North West Greece, that region, while the other one is actual Macedonia. Yes, they are Macedonian, but they lived in Thessaloniki, they had no relation to the Republic of North Macedonia.
For Macedonia it is North West Greece, that region, while the other one is actual Macedonia. Yes, they are Macedonian, but they lived in Thessaloniki, they had no relation to the Republic of North Macedonia.
Original text of my sister speaking:
I don’t spend too much time thinking about it… Basically, my heritage is me, who I am is my heritage and that’s because of who I am, the child will have the same kind of heritage because I would have been shaped by the experiences that I cherish and I value.
Translation into Bulgarian:
Не прекарвам много време в мисли за това… Просто казано, аз съм моите родствени корени и заради това, което съм, детето ще има същите корени, защото аз съм оформена от изживяванията, които пазя и ценя.
Не прекарвам много време в мисли за това… Просто казано, аз съм моите родствени корени и заради това, което съм, детето ще има същите корени, защото аз съм оформена от изживяванията, които пазя и ценя.
A thank you to everyone that contributed their stories in order for this project to come to life.
To my mum, dad, and grandma: Благодаря ви! Наистина значи много за мен, че сте част от този проект! (Thank you! It really means a lot to me that you are part of this project.)
Nivi, you are my biggest support in everything, thank you!
And to my beautiful friends: Alisa, Mimi, Rosi, and Pal, with a special contribution by Kathleen, I appreciate all your support and love! Thank you!!
Lastly, to the visitors that have taken the time to engage with the story of my family's history, thank you. You were the missing part.